Short Dresses Attract Rape.

Dear Madam Otiko Djaba,

I saw a video once where tea was used as an analogy to illustrate the giving of consent. I found it quite apt so I’ll attempt to narrate it now with my own additions:

– If you offer someone a cup of tea and they say no, don’t make them tea.

– If they say “not sure” to the offer, don’t make them any tea until they say yes.

– If they are too drunk or incoherent to say yes or no to the offer, don’t make them any tea.

– If they turn up at your house with a sexy, attractive empty mug looking like they are asking for tea, don’t assume they want tea until they say yes to an offer for tea.

Now substitute sex for tea. It’s really quite simple; if the answer is no, then you do not have consent to present them with sex.

Do you see now how problematic the statement you made regarding short skirts/dresses is? You have essentially told young girls that what they wear is an invitation for rape. If they get raped, it will be their fault. You are telling young men that a girl in a short skirt is asking for it and it is alright for them to take liberties without her consent. This is a toxic lesson to teach young people and I do not think a person in your position should be teaching it at all. This is propagating victim blaming and completely obliterating the need for consent. As Minister for Gender I had hoped you would teach young men to respect their female counterparts, to have self-control and to always ask for consent no matter what a girl is wearing. I had hoped you would teach young girls to be confident and not shrink themselves for society’s approval.

Rape is a violent crime; anyone who perpetuates it is a criminal and the person it is done to is the victim. It should not matter that the victim was wearing a short dress! I understand how you might think you are helping the girls by telling them this; protecting them even, but instead, let us hold predatory people responsible for their actions alright? Let us tell those who think what a woman wears is an invitation for unwanted advances that they are wrong and that they still need an emphatic yes before having sex with anyone. Let us teach young men the importance of consent, the need to get it first and the importance of refusing to have sex until they have received a clear green light.

Imagine a world where people ask nicely for sex and deal appropriately with a “no” instead of taking short dresses as an implied “yes”.

I was hopeful. I am still hopeful so, do better. Empower, educate, speak out against wrongs and work for better. While you’re at it, try not to encourage anymore victim blaming while inadvertently excusing crime.

Thank you.